1. |
||||
|
don't think about your breathing, don't think about the way he made her feel
you're not dead yet, so don't start grieving for things that are not even real
o friend, do not wait for me
o friend, do not wait for me
i am too far behind
i am too far behind
don't think about your feelings, what's buried is best left right there
don't look to him for meaning, you reach out to everyone and still pretend they care
o friend, do not help me
o friend, do not help me
don't look behind, you'll see me
please look behind and see me
let me put my skin on for you
it's the least i could do
since i'm a corpse and must keep up appearances
you make me sick, make me spit blood and teeth
i cannot help what i feel
so darling, please for our sake
let me put my skin on for you
it's the least i could do
o friend, do not leave me
o friend do not leave me
but i am too far behind
i am too far behind
|
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2. |
don't come to my funeral
04:00
|
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|
and i'm so scared i'll die like this
no one wants to love you when you're rotten
am i alive, or just living?
it's easier to stay in here, now i'll waste and die
do i love her just because she's here?
why am i lying to myself again?
i bury all these things so deep it's hard to tell
if buried truths are treasures of just more burdens
i can fall into heaven
or i can fall into hell
i'm a baby in my universe
where i'm going i can't tell
and i'm greatful i don't know
but i am standing at death's door
i'm only scared when i'm alone
it's funny how it doesn't matter anymore
and i'm so scared i'll die like this
no one wants to love you when you're rotten
am i alive, or just living?
it's easier to stay in here, now i'll waste and die
it's easier to stay in her outside i'll waste and die
|
||||
3. |
pissbaby
03:08
|
|||
|
i made mistakes, don't talk about it
i know your face, oh, i wish i didn't
room filled with sighs, it's no surprise
and i never get tired of being fucking admired
they say you love from afar,
so please stay where you are
i know your face, oh, i wish i didn't
room filled with sighs, i'm not surprised
you don't scare me
you were all i'd known
i'm cutting you free
so just leave me alone
i know your face, oh, i wish i didn't
room filled with sighs, i'm not surprised
it's no surprise
i'm never surprised
|
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4. |
nirvana lodge
04:57
|
|||
|
he remembers the first time he saw her
watching, always watching
she was light, pure, she moved like the breeze
she walked with confidence
she was at ease
he felt his heart quicken as came by him
he flinched as she moved past
with a glance back he saw her face and knew
and he thinks
thinks she is an ocean, vast and flowing
thinks he loves her
thinks he smells her on the air
thinks he hates her
knows he hates her
thinks he hates her being there
knows he wants her
has to have her
so he follows
she floats from place to place
he watches, watches her all day
and at night he dreams of her
dreams, of choking her
watching is good, almost enough for now
but he burns and needs more
and he thinks
thinks he loves her
thinks she is the air he breathes
thinks she is the ones he needs
thinks he hates her
knows he hates her
he does hate her
so he follows
follows until she is weak and needing sleep
he follows and takes
she struggles and fights
he holds and soothes
she kicks and bites
and he hates her
and he hates her
and he loves her
and he hates her
and he needs her
and he hates her
and he loves her
and he hates her
and he hates her
and he hates her
|
||||
5. |
||||
|
do i talk too much or not enough can't control anything
i used to say, that you are on top, that you can move mountains
tried to pick locks when i was younger with hairpins,
i am forgetting everything as soon as it happens,
pained by everything that i need to let go,
yknow theres safety in self destruction because at least you know where youre gonna go
very alone i will not reach out,
please dont come to me i am panic attacks and nosebleeds
in the girls toilets at school
oh, i'm grateful
bull in a china shop, im waiting at the bus stop
blue tiled swimming pools, y'know i used to suffer fools
shouting less than i thought and breaking stuff i bought
I learnt a lot of patience but never wanna be complacent
i was crying into my sleeve on the top floor of an apartment complex
i was 8 years old
lost in a cartoon estate, you know i really think that she is my soulmate
sorry if this is weird
nearly half disappeared at 17 years i try to retrace,
pinpoint and drawing maps try to figure out exactly what happened to me, very alone i do not reach out
please come to me i am panic attacks and nosebleeds and these are not battlescars
these are the echoes of a disorder
messy taurus girl with blood caked under your finger nails
i won't ask questions
suffocating for years and drowning in all of your fears
i am terribly afraid strangled by desperation
she said "you mess of crooked teeth, what'd you bury underneath?"
i used to watch videotapes in my mams bedroom when i was sick
i always knew how i would die one day
on my own terms always on my own terms
and she said "dear, you are not an island"
drinking cranberry juice at night and spilling it on myself
oh god i need to go
there is a past and I remember it
I need to float through the ceiling
|
||||
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